How and Why Designing Websites Sometimes Sucks

So this is a “fun” story about the worst client I’ve ever had. Seriously, the worst. Perhaps it says something about my professional life that until now, my biggest complaint is client paying me to design something that looks like something from Satan’s dream, or dithering about fonts, placement of photos by a 1/4 inch, the speed of a slideshow, etc., but this story is about entitlement. I apologize in advance for the length, but it’s a tale.

I’m at IT guy by day, and I work at a cool little company as a manager who runs a team of developers. I’ll spare you the details of my job since most people’s eyes glass over when I detail it, but it’s complex, very technical, and I have knowledge of a lot of technical areas. I’ve been doing this for years, and my past resume spans a few companies that are household names, including cards you probably have in your wallet right now (financial, insurance, yada yada). As a side hustle, I have a small development company where I do applications and websites for businesses. I’m basically busy all the time, but I rather enjoy it and I like helping people, so it’s all good.

Last year, during a rough period (not to go into to much detail, but I had a rough year, including having to lay off two guys who worked for my side business, losing a major client that was keeping my business thriving, etc.), I was laid off of my day gig at a major bank. A friend came to me and said that he had a friend who needed a website desperately for a business she was starting.

So I talk to this person, and she seemed nice, though a little clueless. She wanted a website, first and foremost, but she was really concerned with getting her name out there. I gave her the rundown on what to do if she wanted to get her business up and running. Many conversations full of free advice, including what equipment she’d need, how to properly record herself doing video, and advised her that she’d need to not only have a site, but post regular updates of new content, plaster social media, and do everything she could to play into Google’s rules around Search Engine Optimization. My original quote to her included a from scratch website (I offered her some cheaper options like WordPress, but she didn’t like the look, said she needed a “professional” site), editing a handful of videos for her, penning a few blog posts, and setting up all of her social media channels. After a couple conversations setting expectations and a formal quote, I agreed, due to her being on a shoestring budget and being a friend of a friend, to do the job for $1500, and told her explicitly that I would normally charge 3-4 times for this much work. She was at first very agreeable and nice, told me that she didn’t doubt that I was giving her a hell of a deal, and even paid me in full up front, despite me telling her that I normally went by an arrangement of either 1/2 deposit and remainder upon completion or 1/3 divided into checkpoints. This seemed like a great thing–the job helped me make a house payment while I waited for my next job to start (I was unemployed for a whole three weeks, my skills are always in demand and I have a great reputation in my industry), but in retrospect is when everything started to go to hell.

There’s a general dictum most people who freelance know: the cheaper the client, the more entitled and demanding they become. So this woman immediately repaid my kindness with meanness. She was flaky, and repeatedly missed appointments and didn’t respond to messages until 1-3 days later. She even yelled at me after she didn’t respond to me for a week–short version was she couldn’t make a time due to an obligation, I said no problem, and offered windows on three consecutive days, but got no word back, and left the ball in her court, since reminding people is not a service I offer–and she tried to play it as my fault until I showed her the email chain and she finally relented. She was cranky every time I dealt with her, and changed requirements frequently, which is a big no-no when you retain someone to do a job–we agree to the job, and if you want to add features, that’s additional. One time, while showing her a proof of the front page of the site, she actually spent 5 minutes (I timed it, seriously) arguing with me that the weird shade of pink she wanted wasn’t the same one in her logo. I had to explain to her that no, it is, and even demonstrate to her how I had matched the color of her logo precisely with hexadecimal codes. Oh, and also, she was incapable of following instructions at all. I am quite good at talking to non-technical folks and breaking down complex subjects, but even basic instructions like “login to this social media site and link your phone number here” were beyond her. Oh, and after the site was complete, she then wanted me to turn around and redo the site because now it was “I’m being told it’s maybe too pink.” Her logo was a pink cow and the name reference a shade of pink, I had long conversations with her about pink and how it was her brand, and now you want to change?! Basically, she was the worst kind of client.

Finally, we were at the point where the site was launched. I was doing a few last-minute tweaks and had posted a couple of unedited videos since she asked to see something on that page. She blew up again and yelled because they were unedited. I politely pointed out that she never told me what she wanted edited out of them, which I had requested twice, and that if she could provide this basic instruction that was for her benefit, I would gladly do it. This was apparently the last straw, and she fired me. She told me that she’d supposedly come to a decision during her meditation and she now had a business partner who was going to help her. Could I finish a few things and then handoff? Yes! I was overjoyed at this point, because the idea of never talking to this person again was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I had three applications in flight at this point for real businesses which each paid way more than her piddling job. Good riddance. Then came the text message that was the biggest insult. “How much of my money are you going to give back?”

Well, I thought about it for a second. It would have been far simpler to pay her off and get rid of her. But, she was demanding that I return at least half if not 2/3 of the job fee. I had put up with her for almost 2 months, dealt with her inability to communicate, amateurish approach to everything, and I had given her a hell of a discount. It was fairly obvious talking to her over time that she had borrowed money to pay me and was now trying to rob me to pay someone else. So I politely declined and told her that given the amount I had knocked off of the price, I wasn’t inclined to do anything else for her. Even after this discussion, I did some additional work, refining a contact form on the site, migrating her from Amazon Web Services to GoDaddy (it was more expensive, but I knew the support was better and they’re more oriented towards non-technical people, plus I figured her next webbie was probably going to be less skilled than me). I even did some of this while I was on vacation visiting my father.

Several days ago, having put this behind me for several weeks, I received a notice from my payment processing service that a chargeback had been initiated for $765. I contacted them, and they informed me it was coming from her bank. I briefly pondered revenge–I know a few web guys who have responded to similar situations by putting up pages that say something along the lines of “This website is unavailable because you didn’t pay your webmaster.” I didn’t want to do that, this is business, not personal, and if she couldn’t have the decency to acknowledge what she was doing, I wasn’t going to go to war over what is basically two car payments. So I just deactivated the site, hoping to get her attention, and figured that she would contact me and we would work it out somehow. Instead, she decided to double down on being a jerk and charge back the whole amount. So now I have this stupid domain I will never use in a million years. One that cost me over a month of my life, some uneasiness with a friend I’ve had for a decade–yes, she brought my friend into the whole mess, too, complaining to him and calling him when I didn’t hop to her requests after she fired me–plus a sum total of a bit over $1600, including not only the money I was blatantly robbed of, but also domains, hosting I bought, and a couple of other incidental charges (fun side note: she’s so cheap, she had some of the hosting I bought refunded back to her as store credit).

Oh, and finally, since you’ve suffered through this whole diatribe of mine, here’s the kicker–the business she’s trying to start is as a motivational speaker and life coach. She wants to give people life advice, but she won’t pay for something she bought. She speaks about integrity and how people aren’t defined by their mistakes as long as they try to live better in the here and now. So, to the former owner of Fuchsia Cow, here’s a reality check about integrity. Pay me, and this comes down, your site goes back up, and in a few months, when I’m confident you can’t try the same bullshit again, you get the keys back. Until then, this essay will be what people see when they search out your company.

PS: Please don’t try to dox this woman or harass her. If I wanted that done, having her personal info all at my disposal, I’d have already done this. My intent in writing this is merely to defend my reputation and make public this particular business owner’s lack of integrity.

The Anatomy of a Perfect Landing Page – Formstack

The Anatomy of a Perfect Landing Page – Formstack.

Consulting Humor

In honor of my entrance into the consulting world:

http://www.despair.com/consulting.html

No tech degree? No problem.

Speaking as one of many in the field, the percentage of IT pros with tech-related degrees is not nearly as high as one might think. Check out this nifty little article about tips to break into the world of tech, courtesy of the Mashable blog.

What if your new job sucks?

This entry’s link comes from Mashable’s Brent Daily, talking about a job he absolutely despised, and questions he will try to always ask in future interviews. I understand all too well, as about six months ago, I took a gig I severely disliked. Allow me to elaborate…

I had been the victim of a downsizing. I had run out of severance, unemployment in the state I live in is capped at a rather pathetic $210 per week, and I had been looking hard for over three months. I was scared, apprehensive, and nervous about losing my apartment, car, etc. Bills were already piling up, I was eschewing luxuries, and recategorizing things I had normally considered no big deal (cable TV, occasional pizza) as luxuries. Then, suddenly, interviews finally started rolling, and offers came shortly afterward. Whether it was fiscal year changeover, new project needs, or divine intervention, I don’t know and didn’t care. All I knew is that I was in demand.

I immediately began weighing them out. Salaries were nearly identical, so I pushed that mostly out of my mind. One was a bit more, but also in the Northwest section of the Phoenix metro area, meaning that from my Southeast valley home, I would easily be doing a 90 minute (probably more) commute during rush hour traffic. Another was a short, non-guaranteed contract that likely wouldn’t renew. Still another had almost zero chance for advancement for several years. I discarded them all, and finally settled on a small but growing company which was decently funded by government research. It was $10K less than my previous consulting gig, but I couldn’t afford to be too picky about the salary at that point. I accepted verbally, and later that day got a call I wasn’t expecting, from a contracting firm trying to fill a spot at a major financial house. The company was Fortune 50, and I had tried to get on there many times, but I also knew I had just committed to another company. I tried to reject, but the recruiter quickly put on a full-court press and basically said “you really, really, really want to listen to our pitch.”

So I did, which was a good one. The salary was only a bit more, but there were all kinds of perks, plus an annual bonus that was decent. So I was blinded by the flash, and quickly went to work for the conglomerate instead. After a few weeks, I was in major regret. It was not a good cultural fit, the assignment was something I knew less than nothing about, they wanted me to work toward business objectives and a position I had no interest in, and I spent most of my time in meetings and generally disliking my surroundings. I found myself going to the restroom and then sitting on the throne for a couple of minutes longer than it took to take care of my business, just because I didn’t want to go back to my desk right that moment. Every fiber of my being told me to book, but I stayed because 1) I wanted to say I had been there for one year at least, and 2) I knew my bonus would kick in after six months.

Eventually, my project’s funding was cut, and I was “benched” with pay while they attempted to find me a new position. I started distributing my resume almost immediately, and was fortunate to have almost no time between gigs when they laid me off a few weeks into my inactivity (interestingly enough, right before the very pay period I was due my bonus).

I write this because I understand the temptation to take any job you can find, and the need sometimes to put up with a rather crappy one because of reasons such as pay, scarcity of replacement opportunities, etc. The moral of the story is to do more than adequate research on any company you interview for. Sites like glassdoor.com have opened the game up a bit more for job hunters, and though you may be tempted to eagerly lunge for the company like a dog given a treat, you may just want to be patient while you take one more day to review the company. Sometimes, it can mean the difference between a few dollars more per paycheck versus abject misery at the office.

The Three Categories ALL Interview Questions Fall Into

“What would you say is your biggest weakness?”

“Where do you need improvement?”

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

“What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?”

“What would you do if given an elephant?”

All questions I’ve been asked in an interview. They range from inane, to unrealistic, to just plain dumb. Why, I used to ask myself, do people ask me these stupid, ridiculous things?

When I first had the opportunity to interview a candidate, I quickly realized why so many odd questions had been thrown my way. I suddenly realized that the act of interviewing someone is to hope this person is the qualified, perfect candidate you’re desperately hoping for. There are only three main categories interview questions fall into. Forbes recently listed them, found right here. Remembering that these are the only objectives an interview has in mind will help you to put all the odd curveballs thrown at you in the interview process.

 

Inside the Recruiter’s Head: What He’s Really Asking You During the Interview

Inside the Recruiter’s Head: What He’s Really Asking You During the Interview.

An excellent and insightful article on what recruiters are trying to suss out when they ask you all those difficult, probing questions. It doesn’t try to give you the right answers (is there such a thing as a universally right answer?), but actually discusses what the underlying question is in each situation.

Top ten recruiter secrets

This is a great article detailing the top ten recruiter secrets revealed here. Interesting stuff that a great deal of recruiters guard with their lives.

Rules of behavior for a new job…

Big props to Lidsay Olson and US News for this great article; the original can be found here

This time of year, the only turkey around should be the one you’re carving. If you’re starting a new job, here are 10 sure-fire ways to serve your own head on a platter.

1. The late bird gets in trouble. Being late occasionally is one thing, but chronic tardiness is another. Showing up perpetually late will put your new job at risk, so set your alarm earlier and get out the door on time.

2. Be a know-it-all. You may know everything there is to know about investment banking and then some. But, when you start that new job, you’re starting from scratch in some ways. Every company has different ways of doing business, so don’t assume you know it all. Open your ears and your mind, and be open to learning new things. Who knows? You just might learn something!

3. Be a Betty blabber. Gossiping can get you in trouble, and being new, you don’t yet know the office politics. At all costs, avoid getting involved in office wars. Resist the temptation to join in on other people’s gossip, and you’ll stay safe.

4. Be a negative Nelly. You’re the new kid on the block. Listen and learn, and avoid sending out a negative vibe. If your co-worker is late every day, avoid the temptation to tattle; it’s not your place. As a newbie in the office, avoid being negative about people, places, and procedures. Sit back, relax, and have a positive attitude.

5. Dress however you want. Even if you’d rather wear your slippers and daisy dukes to your new job, it could make you some enemies and put you on the black list immediately. Check out what everybody is wearing when you visit the office. A good rule of thumb is to dress more formally when you first start work. You can always dress down once you see that everyone is more casual. Also, pay attention to who dresses in what way. Managers may be dressier than their subordinates, so follow suit (pun intended). It never hurts to dress nicely!

6. Be a bragging Bart. While you may be tempted to toot your own horn about the work you’ve done in the past, let your current work speak for you, and let your manager see what you can do, rather than telling him.

7. Figure out the hard stuff on your own. Hate asking for help? Failing to do so could be detrimental to your paycheck if you make a big enough mistake. Don’t be a turkey—ask for help, ask questions. No one expects you to know everything early on, so it’s perfectly acceptable to ask once how to do something. Take notes to avoid having to ask the same question over and over.

8. Let your tasks stretch further than your job description. This one might not get you fired, but if you’re getting more and more work dumped on you that wasn’t mentioned in the interviews, you may be overloaded and want to quit. Make sure you fully understand the role. While many companies will want you to get your hands dirty and participate in duties that might not be “part of the job description,” you’ll have to approach the subject with your manager if you find yourself in a situation where you are given much more than one person can handle.

9. Be who you think people want you to be. Everyone wants to put their best foot forward on a new job, but going overboard can make it hard for people to get to know the real you. Let your personality shine (quietly, if it’s a strong one). Never lie about your skills (or anything, really), and you’ll be on the fast track for success.

10. Be as antisocial as possible. Jealous of Milton from Office Space getting to work in the basement? Being antisocial won’t help your career any, and friends are good to have in the workplace. Even if you’re shy, put on a smile and say hello to people in the hall.

Lindsay Olson is a founding partner and public relations recruiter with Paradigm Staffing and Hoojobs, a niche job board for public relations, communications and social media jobs. She blogs at LindsayOlson.com, where she discusses recruiting and job search issues.

Great article on career change

Career Change Is Inevitable

Is your career changing? If you are like the majority of people in the workforce today, the answer is probably yes. Companies thrive on change, and most change very quickly.

But how are you handling your change? Are you going with it, or hoping that you can ride it out? Or, are you wishing that your change would go away?

Change is not easy for most people. We like our routines and want to know what is coming our way. Change throws us off course. It makes us think and makes us do more work. Change forces us to look at ourselves and come up with a new plan or perspective. Change adds fear and uncertainty to our lives. The truth is we just don’t like it very much.

But change is inevitable in your career. Maybe it’s a new boss that you weren’t expecting. Or, a new job or career. Maybe your industry is going away or your company is closing. Maybe your skills are not needed anymore. Whatever the change, you have a decision to make. Either bury your head in the sand or tackle it head on.

So How Can You Effectively Handle Change In Your Career? Follow These 4 Steps Below.

Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late
You know what I mean. You see change coming, but you believe it won’t affect you. So, you go along your merry way and then “bam” all of a sudden, you are hit in the face with change, and your world is turned upside down. Don’t let this happen to you. As soon as you see change, accept it. Expect it to affect you. Expect it to alter the way you see yourself and your career. This way you will take it seriously and do something about it.

Understand That You Have The Power To Make Your Change
When change is upon us, and we haven’t prepared for it, we feel powerless. We feel like something is happening to us, and forget that we have a say. If you put the power back into your hands, you will feel better. You will have hope. Hope gives you energy and the momentum to move past fear and uncertainty, and into something that will be better suited and less stressful for you.

Research Your Change
Most people fear change because it can happen quickly. But there is a way to slow change down and that’s through the power of research. Anticipating change early on will give you time to plan for it. Do your homework. Ask yourself what the change will mean to your career and what your choices are. Then, go online and get your answers. And what you can’t find online, get from people. Research makes your decisions easier and more powerful because you know what your options are, and you can act based on sound reasoning and judgment and not how you feel in the moment.

Make Your Change
There are times in life when you have to take a leap of faith. Once you have accepted that change is inevitable and you have done the legwork, it’s time to go for it and implement your change. Want a guarantee that it will work out or this is your last change? I can’t give you one. But I can tell you that your change will be easier to make when you ride the tide instead of going against it.

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love!

– Deboarh Volkman-Brown

Deborah Brown-Volkman, PCC, is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc. a successful career, life, and mentor coaching company that works with Senior Executives, Vice Presidents, and Managers who are looking for new career opportunities or seek to become more productive in their current role. She is the author of “Coach Yourself To A New Career”, “Don’t Blow It! The Right Words For The Right Job” and “How To Feel Great At Work Everyday.” Deborah can be reached at http://www.supassyoudreams.com or at (631) 874-2877.