So this is a “fun” story about the worst client I’ve ever had. Seriously, the worst. Perhaps it says something about my professional life that until now, my biggest complaint is client paying me to design something that looks like something from Satan’s dream, or dithering about fonts, placement of photos by a 1/4 inch, the speed of a slideshow, etc., but this story is about entitlement. I apologize in advance for the length, but it’s a tale.
I’m at IT guy by day, and I work at a cool little company as a manager who runs a team of developers. I’ll spare you the details of my job since most people’s eyes glass over when I detail it, but it’s complex, very technical, and I have knowledge of a lot of technical areas. I’ve been doing this for years, and my past resume spans a few companies that are household names, including cards you probably have in your wallet right now (financial, insurance, yada yada). As a side hustle, I have a small development company where I do applications and websites for businesses. I’m basically busy all the time, but I rather enjoy it and I like helping people, so it’s all good.
Last year, during a rough period (not to go into to much detail, but I had a rough year, including having to lay off two guys who worked for my side business, losing a major client that was keeping my business thriving, etc.), I was laid off of my day gig at a major bank. A friend came to me and said that he had a friend who needed a website desperately for a business she was starting.
So I talk to this person, and she seemed nice, though a little clueless. She wanted a website, first and foremost, but she was really concerned with getting her name out there. I gave her the rundown on what to do if she wanted to get her business up and running. Many conversations full of free advice, including what equipment she’d need, how to properly record herself doing video, and advised her that she’d need to not only have a site, but post regular updates of new content, plaster social media, and do everything she could to play into Google’s rules around Search Engine Optimization. My original quote to her included a from scratch website (I offered her some cheaper options like WordPress, but she didn’t like the look, said she needed a “professional” site), editing a handful of videos for her, penning a few blog posts, and setting up all of her social media channels. After a couple conversations setting expectations and a formal quote, I agreed, due to her being on a shoestring budget and being a friend of a friend, to do the job for $1500, and told her explicitly that I would normally charge 3-4 times for this much work. She was at first very agreeable and nice, told me that she didn’t doubt that I was giving her a hell of a deal, and even paid me in full up front, despite me telling her that I normally went by an arrangement of either 1/2 deposit and remainder upon completion or 1/3 divided into checkpoints. This seemed like a great thing–the job helped me make a house payment while I waited for my next job to start (I was unemployed for a whole three weeks, my skills are always in demand and I have a great reputation in my industry), but in retrospect is when everything started to go to hell.
There’s a general dictum most people who freelance know: the cheaper the client, the more entitled and demanding they become. So this woman immediately repaid my kindness with meanness. She was flaky, and repeatedly missed appointments and didn’t respond to messages until 1-3 days later. She even yelled at me after she didn’t respond to me for a week–short version was she couldn’t make a time due to an obligation, I said no problem, and offered windows on three consecutive days, but got no word back, and left the ball in her court, since reminding people is not a service I offer–and she tried to play it as my fault until I showed her the email chain and she finally relented. She was cranky every time I dealt with her, and changed requirements frequently, which is a big no-no when you retain someone to do a job–we agree to the job, and if you want to add features, that’s additional. One time, while showing her a proof of the front page of the site, she actually spent 5 minutes (I timed it, seriously) arguing with me that the weird shade of pink she wanted wasn’t the same one in her logo. I had to explain to her that no, it is, and even demonstrate to her how I had matched the color of her logo precisely with hexadecimal codes. Oh, and also, she was incapable of following instructions at all. I am quite good at talking to non-technical folks and breaking down complex subjects, but even basic instructions like “login to this social media site and link your phone number here” were beyond her. Oh, and after the site was complete, she then wanted me to turn around and redo the site because now it was “I’m being told it’s maybe too pink.” Her logo was a pink cow and the name reference a shade of pink, I had long conversations with her about pink and how it was her brand, and now you want to change?! Basically, she was the worst kind of client.
Finally, we were at the point where the site was launched. I was doing a few last-minute tweaks and had posted a couple of unedited videos since she asked to see something on that page. She blew up again and yelled because they were unedited. I politely pointed out that she never told me what she wanted edited out of them, which I had requested twice, and that if she could provide this basic instruction that was for her benefit, I would gladly do it. This was apparently the last straw, and she fired me. She told me that she’d supposedly come to a decision during her meditation and she now had a business partner who was going to help her. Could I finish a few things and then handoff? Yes! I was overjoyed at this point, because the idea of never talking to this person again was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I had three applications in flight at this point for real businesses which each paid way more than her piddling job. Good riddance. Then came the text message that was the biggest insult. “How much of my money are you going to give back?”
Well, I thought about it for a second. It would have been far simpler to pay her off and get rid of her. But, she was demanding that I return at least half if not 2/3 of the job fee. I had put up with her for almost 2 months, dealt with her inability to communicate, amateurish approach to everything, and I had given her a hell of a discount. It was fairly obvious talking to her over time that she had borrowed money to pay me and was now trying to rob me to pay someone else. So I politely declined and told her that given the amount I had knocked off of the price, I wasn’t inclined to do anything else for her. Even after this discussion, I did some additional work, refining a contact form on the site, migrating her from Amazon Web Services to GoDaddy (it was more expensive, but I knew the support was better and they’re more oriented towards non-technical people, plus I figured her next webbie was probably going to be less skilled than me). I even did some of this while I was on vacation visiting my father.
Several days ago, having put this behind me for several weeks, I received a notice from my payment processing service that a chargeback had been initiated for $765. I contacted them, and they informed me it was coming from her bank. I briefly pondered revenge–I know a few web guys who have responded to similar situations by putting up pages that say something along the lines of “This website is unavailable because you didn’t pay your webmaster.” I didn’t want to do that, this is business, not personal, and if she couldn’t have the decency to acknowledge what she was doing, I wasn’t going to go to war over what is basically two car payments. So I just deactivated the site, hoping to get her attention, and figured that she would contact me and we would work it out somehow. Instead, she decided to double down on being a jerk and charge back the whole amount. So now I have this stupid domain I will never use in a million years. One that cost me over a month of my life, some uneasiness with a friend I’ve had for a decade–yes, she brought my friend into the whole mess, too, complaining to him and calling him when I didn’t hop to her requests after she fired me–plus a sum total of a bit over $1600, including not only the money I was blatantly robbed of, but also domains, hosting I bought, and a couple of other incidental charges (fun side note: she’s so cheap, she had some of the hosting I bought refunded back to her as store credit).
Oh, and finally, since you’ve suffered through this whole diatribe of mine, here’s the kicker–the business she’s trying to start is as a motivational speaker and life coach. She wants to give people life advice, but she won’t pay for something she bought. She speaks about integrity and how people aren’t defined by their mistakes as long as they try to live better in the here and now. So, to the former owner of Fuchsia Cow, here’s a reality check about integrity. Pay me, and this comes down, your site goes back up, and in a few months, when I’m confident you can’t try the same bullshit again, you get the keys back. Until then, this essay will be what people see when they search out your company.
PS: Please don’t try to dox this woman or harass her. If I wanted that done, having her personal info all at my disposal, I’d have already done this. My intent in writing this is merely to defend my reputation and make public this particular business owner’s lack of integrity.